From Guest Blogger Emily Smith
Self-Love. As we enter into February 2021, the month of Love and “Valentine’s Day,” many of us realize it is an important time to focus on loving ourselves in life-affirming, resiliency-building ways. With so many challenges in 2020, and continuing into 2021, there is a great need to remain healthy, to be balanced multi-dimensionally, to sustain a strong immune system and to continue becoming self-aware and self-empowered. All key relational alchemic strategies are needed for increasing and sustaining your ability to be authentically loving toward yourself during these times ahead.
Two unique universal principles for self-love are;
- loving self first, as opposed to yielding your truth to please others, and
- Loving all aspects of yourself, the loveable and currently not-as-lovable aspects.
Applying both builds a firmer foundation within: to ground and center us in our own inner truths, discernment and insightful presence; to keep the balance between work-home-public service-spiritual pursuits; and to search for deeper more expansive ways to love ourselves. Loving another is based upon authentically loving yourself first and foremost. It is the worthiest of all spiritually inspired pursuits.
The world in which most of us were raised gave us many false messages and faulty programming about what love is. These focused our attention outside of ourselves, and away from who we really are. February has for years been about profit-driven, multi-media “love” industries promoting their versions of how to either express one’s love for another(s) or impress another to love them.
I asked my co-authors, the Collective Wisdom Team, to share their wisdom on this topic:
I asked my co-authors, the Collective Wisdom Team, to share their wisdom on self-love.
A path of self-love is one of the highest transformative steps you can pursue in awakening to your inner essence. It is, in effect a “spiritual vaccine” . A buffer from unnecessary internal and external distractions, while building your capacity to be increasingly self-caring, self-nurturing and self-compassionate – a profound gift from your soul.
Be mindful of what you put your focus on and expose yourself to on the internet, T.V., in print and on the airways. Go deeper in discerning what habits, beliefs and values are no longer serving you and require upshifting. Forgive yourself, without conditions, for the past. This is an important transformational step. Releasing what no longer serves can expand time to be in service to others and causes closest to your heart. Renew and deepen your relationships with significant others in your life near and far. Strive for balance in all things.
All are practical spiritual strategies for loving yourself holistically. Choose to use the rest of this month into March to take steps toward loving, nurturing and honoring yourself, using your intuition as a spiritual compass, and tapping into higher wisdom to guide and support you. Know sincerely loving yourself is the most powerful transformative frequency in the universe, and the most effective transmuter of fear in any form.
Self-Love as a "Spiritual Vaccine"
Loving yourself fully is an effective way to build a stronger sense of inner strength, while diminishing any doubts about who you are and what you came to accomplish. It also protects you, limiting the negative affects of the chaos in the collective consciousness.
Here are some compassionately heart-centered to lovie ourselves that have been transformative for me:
- De-programming and de-sensitizing myself from the overly commercialized, fantasy-based, idealized type of love in which most of us were raised.
- Surrendering to a higher purpose. Seeking inner guidance to create authentic, fulfilling loving relationships with self and others.
- Learning how to self-nurture (rather than self-comfort) myself in multiple, loving ways as part of the natural flow in my daily life.
- Seeking feedback from those I trust and respect for their ability to be kind and objective about what my notable traits were – both the lovable and not yet lovable aspects. The feedback guided me in exploring opportunities for continued growth.
- Reaffirming my life purpose. This makes decision making less stressful as “yes” or “no” responses become clear.
- During Covid-19 sequestering, I learned ways to stay connected virtually with friends via Zoom, providing me with a sense of continuing to be in mutually supportive, loving communities.
- Making a conscious commitment to build more physical stamina; to make time to be in my inner silence more often; to increase my capacity to be self-compassionate; to document any insightful discoveries; and to build a healthier immune system for long-term wellness and longevity.
Personal Responsibility and Self Care
Even though we are spiritual beings having a human experience in this lifetime, we are personally responsible for taking care of our multi-dimensional bodies. You can reframe and upshift negative self-defeating thoughts, such as “I don’t always feel lovable and happy.” into positive loving thoughts, such as “I fully accept myself for who I am in this present moment.”
Here are some practical strategies to explore for manifesting self-love and self-nurturing, with a dash of self-forgiveness when needed. These are important relational alchemic steps toward fully loving and honoring yourself when our outside world has not been so loving, kind, considerate, or consciously aware.
Strategies for Self Care
- Build an on-going list of things you like, love and appreciate about yourself. Place this list somewhere where you can review and add new items often.
- Also create a list of non-self-nurturing thoughts that have previously blocked you from experiencing positive loving thoughts about yourself. Examples include being self-critical and judgmental, and a tendency to blame self first regardless of the circumstances.
- Take three negative non-loving thoughts from the list above about yourself and reframe them into positive, uplifting and self-nurturing thoughts. Keep doing this exercise until there are few if any non-loving thoughts left to be reframed. An example could be a positive affirmation such as “I love the way I can stay in the current question and not have all the answers.”
- Consciously listen for inner guidance of ways to love and appreciate yourself and others.
- Keep a daily journal of any new ways to love and appreciate yourself that build your sense of self-worthiness. Note any aspects requiring upshifting and possible steps to upshift them into positive attributes. Be aware of that which feeds you, your soul and document such awarenesses. Revisit often.
- Set and maintain healthy boundaries for yourself and with others.
- Spend the most amount of your time with loving, kind and thoughtful friends, family, significant others, colleagues and others you sense are important to you.
- Maintain regular exercise, hydration and relaxation regimes, including restorative sleep.
- Purchase high quality, organic, non-gmo produce, and locally owned when possible.
- Having a piece of dark chocolate at night can aid you in celebrating a day well lived.
Where Am I Now?
Throughout last year, many of us found ourselves at opposite ends of a spectrum with someone we love. Such spectrums included Covid-19 healthcare protocols, choosing to get a vaccine or not, and the constitutional legitimacy of our last presidential election. My inner guidance reminded me that our souls have chosen different unique paths for each of us to take and lessons to experience. Therefore, it would be best to search for a higher perspective and seek common ground with those loved ones.
March 2021 represents the beginning of our second year of being in some stage of Covid-19 pandemic protocols Major health precautions will continue. Our focus continues to be on any opportunities to emphasize self-care, self-nurturing strategies, and keeping the work-home-social-service-spiritual pursuits. Loving yourself at deeper more expansive levels is called for, especially for spiritual renewal over these next several months, as multiple levels of change and transformation continue. Be centered, grounded and trusting in what you know to be true.
In closing, explore the universal principal of acknowledging that your soul’s essence is within you. How does this impact your belief about yourself and loving yourself in a more wholistic way? In realizing this, how does this shift the way you care and nurture yourself?
Self-Inquiry Questions
The following questions are designed to support you in creating a solid foundation to anchor your insights, savor pearls of wisdom and other ways to create productive strategies and purposeful actions in loving your total self in more expansive ways. Capture what first emerges in your diary or journal.
- What did you learn about loving and appreciating yourself during the first year of the Covid-19 pandemic? What was insightful and uplifting to learn? Where was there room for personal improvement and growth?
- What heart-centered loving strategies did you utilize for yourself and with others? Which would you like to continue in 2021? What ones don’t you want to continue doing in 2021? Are there any new strategies you would like to incorporate and why?
- What specific challenges do you run into when trying to consciously put yourself first?
- What types of wellness-focused self-nurturing do you already do? What benefits have you received? What are ways you can increase other self-caring practices on a regular basis? What will you need to stop doing and start doing to make this happen?
- As you embark upon this aspect of your Awakening to Essence process, to what degree are you capable of totally loving your whole self – the good; the perceived mistakes, misgivings, regrets and the times when your physical-mental-emotional bodies aren’t in balance? What are some initial steps you sense you will need to take?
BLOG # 38 By Emily Smith
Santa Fe, New Mexico
February 2021
These monthly blogs share practical everyday wisdom, and transformative tools and strategies garnered from my spiritual journey over the last 40+ years. Most of the inspirations for my blogs come from my yet-to-be published book, THE GRAND MYSTICAL SHIFT: Chemistry of the Ego Evolving into Alchemy of the Soul – every day practical spirituality for consciously living a fulfilling, purposeful and meaningful life. Your comments and feedback are welcomed. Simply comment below or contact Emily at emilymsmith@centurylink.net. Please feel free to share this blog.
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